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 Post subject: How do you deal with people who fat shame?
PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2016 6:50 am 
stranger in an orange land

Joined: Thu Sep 01, 2016 5:59 am
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I've struggled with bulimia since 2009. I'm constantly dealing with my spouses mother who loves fat shaming other women. She's overweight, so I don't understand why she thinks it's okay. I would never say some of the awful things she has said to me. Examples:

"I've noticed you've put on some weight" - While looking at me disgusted.
"If you're lucky your baby is taking his calories from your a**"
"Your baby looks BIG!" -Keep in mind he's in the womb and there's only an ultrasound?! What?!?

She's always putting other people down and talking about their weight. It bothers me but I have no backbone to stand up for myself and I end up getting reduced to tears and going back to binge/purge cycles.

I would love some advice on dealing with these types of people.
I'm truly hurt by the comments that are made towards me.


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 Post subject: Re: How do you deal with people who fat shame?
PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2016 12:21 pm 
admin goddess from hell
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Joined: Fri May 02, 2008 1:10 am
Posts: 12363
That sounds really tough. I'm sorry your MIL is so hateful. I imagine she has a constant struggle with her own weight going on in her head, but that is no excuse for ever fat shaming anyone. Can you limit your contact with her? I would want to start dealing with the issue now because I wouldn't want my baby to grow up around those kinds of attitudes. It's hard to stand up to someone who is essentially a bully. Are you able to just walk away from her when she fat-shames, or is the trigger already pulled for you by then?

Another thing you could try is drowning her with facts. Have you had a chance to look at [url=http://webiteback.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=178&t=19207this[/url] thread, or http://webiteback.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=178&t=18634this one? Poke around a bit in that forum, and maybe you can find something helpful.

I am wondering if you could practice something when you are alone as a response to her fat-shaming? It would be reinforcement and validation for you, and if you become quite practiced, you may find that you are eventually able to say those words in front of her.

_________________
Whispered words of wisdom,
Let it be.

~~ John Lennon


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