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 Post subject: How to Take Care of Yourself During a Bad Body Image Day
PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2012 4:14 pm 
orange you prolific
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This really seemed helpful to me so I wanted to share it with you guys!

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1. Recognize that fat isn’t a feeling.

There are always underlying emotions that we attach to feeling fat. When the “I feel fat” thoughts start up, try to identify what you’re feeling underneath the body dissatisfaction. Are you feeling lonely? Anxious? Invisible? Scared? Ashamed? Inadequate? Whatever the feelings are recognize that they are separate from your body.

2. Treat yourself as you would a friend.

Because it’s difficult to be kind to ourselves in the moment when the body hating thoughts take over, try responding to your thoughts as if you were supporting a friend. What would you say to someone you loved who was battling your same struggle with body image?

You wouldn’t tell them to not eat for the day in order to compensate for what they ate the previous night. You wouldn’t tell them to punish themselves for their body size through over-exercise, self-harm, or abusive eating habits. You wouldn’t tell them they were worthless or unloveable because of their weight. So why do you tell yourself these things? Break the cycle and start treating yourself like a friend—you deserve that kindness and love from everyone, especially yourself.

3. Recognize that you are so much more than the size of your body.

What you look like does not define you. It doesn’t discount your worth as a human being. You are so much more than a number on the scale. As a living, breathing, feeling human being you have inherent value. You are special and important and loved. You exist and therefore you matter.

Your appearance is such a small part of who you are, and it certainly doesn’t warrant enough power to discount the person you are inside. You aren’t your body or your weight—you are your goals and dreams and passions and values. You are your strengths and talents and insight. You are a soul and a spirit and a force of nature. Your body does not define you.

4. Shift your focus from the external to the internal.

Make a list of all the people you look up to and are inspired by—not because of their weight or appearance, but because of who they are and what they do. Write out all the qualities they have that make you appreciate and value them.

Use the list as a reminder that it’s the internal things—our dreams and passions and goals and morals and insight and character—that truly define who we are and draw people to us; not how we look.

You are no exception to this. Try making your own list of things you like about yourself that have nothing to do with appearance or body size. If you have a difficult time creating one, ask some friends and family to help you.

5. Think about what you want to be remembered for after you die.

I don’t want people to remember me for what I looked like, what size jeans I wore, or what I weighed. I want to be remembered for the person I am. I want to be remembered as someone who brought about positive change in the world. I want to be remembered as loving friend, partner, and family member. I want to be remembered for my passions and my creativity and my strength. I want to be remembered as someone who made a difference. What do you want your legacy to be? Chances are, it doesn’t have to do with weight.

6. Instead of focusing on the size of your body, start focusing on what your body allows you to do.

The human body is an incredible force. When we get caught up in the number on the scale and size of clothes however, we forget just how lucky we are to have a fully functioning vehicle to engage in life with. So stop hating your body for the way it looks and start acknowledging and appreciating your body for all that it allows you to do.

Make a list of each activity and feat your body helps you to partake in and accomplish. If you want to be even more specific, list out each body part and describe all the things you wouldn’t be able to do without it. Your body is strong, powerful, and beautiful, regardless of it’s size. Choose to treat it with love, compassion, and gratitude instead of hate and judgement.

7. Challenge your negative thoughts.

You may not be able to change the way you feel about your body today, tomorrow, or a month from now, but you can begin the process by challenging the thoughts in the moment. Write out a dialogue between your negative voice and a healthy voice. If you have a hard time coming up with positive counters to the negative thoughts, pretend that you are speaking positively about a friend or loved one.

Even if you don’t believe the things you say to counter the voice, it’s still important to speak out against it, because each time you argue with the thoughts, you are taking away some of their power and reclaiming your own. The more you challenge the thoughts, the less you will believe them. The more you argue back, the easier fighting the voice will become.

8. Allow yourself to feel your feelings.

There is a lot of built up energy and emotion underlying the way we feel about our bodies. Holding in how we feel or engaging in behaviors to numb out may make us feel better in the moment, but in the long run, it doesn’t remedy the pain we feel. It doesn’t make us feel better and it keeps us stuck.

Releasing the energy and painful emotions underlying our body shame requires us to feel our feelings. Whether that means throwing a tantrum on the floor, venting to a friend on the phone, punching a pillow, screaming in your car, or crying in bed, you need to allow yourself to feel your feelings. Let go of the judgement you have about what you feel and recognize that you are feeling these things for a reason. Give yourself permission to release your emotions and let everything out.

9. Do self care.

When you’re struggling with body image, distract yourself with healthy coping mechanisms. Take a bubble bath, get a message, ask for a back scratch, cuddle with a pet, make plans with a supportive friend, watch your favorite movie, get a manicure, listening to calming music, do deep breathing—whatever it is, make sure it’s something self-soothing and helps you get out of your head.

10. Be kind with yourself.

You may not be able to control the way you feel about your body, but you can control what you do in response to how you feel.

Instead of beating yourself up, you can choose to treat yourself with compassion. Instead of engaging in unhealthy and abusive behaviors, you can choose to do self-care. Instead of treating your body as an enemy, you can choose to treat it as a friend. Instead of isolating yourself, you can choose to reach out for support and surround yourself with positive people who make you feel loved and accepted. Instead of agreeing with the negative thoughts, you can choose to challenge them.

***You have more power than you think—don’t let the way you feel about your body keep you from living.

Coping with bad body image days may not be easy, but it is possible.

Don’t give up.

You aren’t alone.

Things can and will get better.

http://internal-acceptance-movement.tumblr.com/post/26458379054

http://a-mead-gal.tumblr.com/post/29636011009/internal-acceptance-movement-how-to-take-care

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Your feelings will not kill you, engaging in disordered behaviors could.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”


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 Post subject: Re: How to Take Care of Yourself During a Bad Body Image Day
PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2012 4:48 pm 
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All of those points are very true and useful.
I've been exploring the fat feeling lately. I wonder what is actually going on with my feelings when I feel 'fat'.

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 Post subject: Re: How to Take Care of Yourself During a Bad Body Image Day
PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2012 5:59 pm 
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I just had a quick squiz and looks really helpful. Look forward to reading it fully this afternoon. Thanks for sharing!

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 Post subject: Re: How to Take Care of Yourself During a Bad Body Image Day
PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2012 6:06 pm 
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Glanced over it and immediately Reblogged. Some great reminders in there.

Thanks for posting!

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 Post subject: Re: How to Take Care of Yourself During a Bad Body Image Day
PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2012 7:36 pm 
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I very much like this, because I still struggle with bouts of body-phobia sometimes, which can come and go rather quickly.
Especially the treating yourself like a friend (2) and focus an what your body can do (6) bits because they usually proof helpful. So this was a great reminder.
Thank you for posting.

There's one objection I have to the first point: The "fatness feeling" and discomfort is very embodied and very "physical". It's surely eavily accompanied by emotions and harsh judgement but I don't think it is simply emotion in disguise... It's closer to sensation and perceptions and while it certainly doesn't reflect reality it is very real. I think distorted body image is not unlike psychosomatic pain or vertigo: yes it's unrealistic, it's not directly connected to where it seems to stem from and there is something underneath it. But it is there and it's worth tackling all by itself. What is more, it doesn't simply go away, because my eating patterns and emotions have changed. Because it's something else.

Note: Focusing on the feelings underneath and questioning them is still a very valuable exercise, of course. Just not all there is to bad body image.

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 Post subject: Re: How to Take Care of Yourself During a Bad Body Image Day
PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2012 8:51 pm 
orange you prolific
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faustinchen wrote:
I very much like this, because I still struggle with bouts of body-phobia sometimes, which can come and go rather quickly.
Especially the treating yourself like a friend (2) and focus an what your body can do (6) bits because they usually proof helpful. So this was a great reminder.
Thank you for posting.

There's one objection I have to the first point: The "fatness feeling" and discomfort is very embodied and very "physical". It's surely eavily accompanied by emotions and harsh judgement but I don't think it is simply emotion in disguise... It's closer to sensation and perceptions and while it certainly doesn't reflect reality it is very real. I think distorted body image is not unlike psychosomatic pain or vertigo: yes it's unrealistic, it's not directly connected to where it seems to stem from and there is something underneath it. But it is there and it's worth tackling all by itself. What is more, it doesn't simply go away, because my eating patterns and emotions have changed. Because it's something else.

Note: Focusing on the feelings underneath and questioning them is still a very valuable exercise, of course. Just not all there is to bad body image.


I wonder if I'm thinking about the same thing here as you are but I realized when I read your comment that I've had days where I just felt well...fatter than others...significantly, not based on weight or anything. I can weigh the exact same and feel different. It even changes over the course of some days.

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Kelly

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My cats think I'm perfect just the way I am!

Your feelings will not kill you, engaging in disordered behaviors could.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”


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 Post subject: Re: How to Take Care of Yourself During a Bad Body Image Day
PostPosted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 9:41 am 
orange is a state of mind
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Me too, I've noticed the times where I have been of lower weight, I have actually had worse body confidence, and feelings of 'fatness'.

It's so bizarre... my ex used to say to me,
'What? How can you feel fat??'

Technically his B.M.I was obese but he looked great! :s So there you go! (B.M.I Bullshit)
He said he never has felt fat in his life, and he always asked me what I meant by it!

odd !

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 Post subject: Re: How to Take Care of Yourself During a Bad Body Image Day
PostPosted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 10:01 am 
orange wonder
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komich wrote:
I wonder if I'm thinking about the same thing here as you are but I realized when I read your comment that I've had days where I just felt well...fatter than others...significantly, not based on weight or anything. I can weigh the exact same and feel different. It even changes over the course of some days.



eniebee wrote:
Me too, I've noticed the times where I have been of lower weight, I have actually had worse body confidence, and feelings of 'fatness'.


I totally have this, based on how much I've eaten, how much I've exercised, even for totally non-physical reasons - I perceive myself as "fatter" when I've overslept or haven't done much schoolwork or just have seen an unflattering picture of me.
It has zero to do with my actual weight. My physical shape doesn't change in a matter of hours or minutes, so that can't be it. Plus, when I was a teenager, I weighed a good deal less but the body image issues were much, mus worse than today. I'm at about my highest weight ever and I feel the least distress.




I think it's quite common... as people with EDs, our body image is more flexible and moldable.

On a weird sidenot:
When I did some research for my thesis I came across a study showing that people with Anorexia and Bulimia experienced the Rubber Hand Illusion (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCQbygjG0RU)
more strongly, possibly meaning it's easier for our body schema to change or be extended

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 Post subject: Re: How to Take Care of Yourself During a Bad Body Image Day
PostPosted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 12:34 pm 
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I've always had trouble with the "fat is not a feeling" mantra. I know that it may be a feeling that masks or sublimates other emotions or thoughts I am having, but I resent being told I am not feeling it. I have other feelings that are proxies for what is really happening inside my head: fear, guilt, anger and so forth, and even though many of those feelings are not validated or accurate, no one denies that I am feeling them. If I accept fat as a feeling, then surely it allows me to name it and manage it the same way I manage other feelings: to acknowledge it, to recognise that feelings are not fact, to remember that feelings come and go and to practice some emotion regulation or distress tolerance skills.

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 Post subject: Re: How to Take Care of Yourself During a Bad Body Image Day
PostPosted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 12:46 pm 
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Yes, you are so right !
Spender wrote:
If I accept fat as a feeling, then surely it allows me to name it and manage it the same way I manage other feelings: to acknowledge it, to recognise that feelings are not fact, to remember that feelings come and go and to practice some emotion regulation or distress tolerance skills.

Feelings are not fact and then can come and go, so why base the rest of your life on one particular negative feelings your briefly experiencing? - Feelings are not fact, I just started repeating that outloud :/ I must sound crackers! :')
Its such a helpful outlook thats clicked something in my head just then !

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 Post subject: Re: How to Take Care of Yourself During a Bad Body Image Day
PostPosted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 6:30 pm 
orange you prolific
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eniebee wrote:
Yes, you are so right !
Spender wrote:
If I accept fat as a feeling, then surely it allows me to name it and manage it the same way I manage other feelings: to acknowledge it, to recognise that feelings are not fact, to remember that feelings come and go and to practice some emotion regulation or distress tolerance skills.

Feelings are not fact and then can come and go, so why base the rest of your life on one particular negative feelings your briefly experiencing? - Feelings are not fact, I just started repeating that outloud :/ I must sound crackers! :')
Its such a helpful outlook thats clicked something in my head just then !


Hey it makes sense to me! I'll have to start doing that.

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(((hugs))),

Kelly

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My cats think I'm perfect just the way I am!

Your feelings will not kill you, engaging in disordered behaviors could.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”


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 Post subject: Re: How to Take Care of Yourself During a Bad Body Image Day
PostPosted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 8:28 pm 
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Spender wrote:
I've always had trouble with the "fat is not a feeling" mantra. I know that it may be a feeling that masks or sublimates other emotions or thoughts I am having, but I resent being told I am not feeling it.


Dito.

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