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 Post subject: How to Find Self-Acceptance
PostPosted: Sat Nov 19, 2016 10:30 am 
orange is hot
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Joined: Thu Dec 31, 2015 10:44 pm
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1. Identify and challenge your negative thoughts.

The first step towards finding self-acceptance is identifying the judgements you are attaching to your authentic self. Do you think you’re too much? Too emotional? Too quirky? Too shy? Too silly? Whatever the thoughts and beliefs are, identifying them is key because it allows you to challenge them.

Allowing your negative thoughts to go unchallenged gives them more power. Even if you don’t believe the things you say to counter the voice, it’s still important to speak out against it. Each time you argue with the thoughts, you are entertaining the notion that maybe, just maybe, it’s wrong. Each time you fight back, you’re taking away their power. The more you challenge the thoughts, the less you will believe them.

2. Explore your reasons for holding back.

What are your fears about allowing the world to see you as you are? Are you scared of being judged? Abandoned? Criticized? Laughed at? When you can identify the beliefs, test out your anticipated outcome and see whether or not your fears become a reality.

Chances are, you will find that no one sees you in the same negative light you see yourself in. Just because a few people have responded negatively to your authentic self doesn’t mean everyone will. Just because you don’t approve of yourself doesn’t mean other people won’t either.

The truth is that not everyone is going to like and accept who we are. Not because we’re inadequate—but because everyone has different personalities, interests, beliefs, values, needs, and desires. Therefore, gaining everyone’s approval is an exhausting, unrealistic, and impossible goal. Know that when you compromise who you are for the sake of being accepted, you end up attracting people who value you for someone you aren’t.

Trust that when you allow your authentic self to shine that the right people will find their way into your life. These are the people who love and accept you without conditions–these are the people who matter. Let go of the rest. They don’t discount who you are.

3. Recognize your inherent worth.

Self-acceptance transpires when you’re able to recognize that self-worth isn’t something you earn—it’s something you’re born with. You have intrinsic value. You exist and therefore you matter. Your worth as a human being isn’t something up for negotiation—it just is.

4. Stop making comparisons.

Comparing yourself to other people doesn’t make you feel any better about who you are—it makes you feel worse and keeps you feeling inadequate. Whether or not you “measure up” to someone else is not an accurate basis of your self-worth. Instead of fixating on all the things you’re lacking, start focusing on all the things that make you wonderful and beautiful and special.

There will always be someone who weighs more or less than you. There will always be someone richer or poorer than you. Someone more well-liked or less well-liked than you. Someone more conventionally beautiful or less traditionally attractive than you. But there will never be another you. Your differentness isn’t something to be ashamed of. It’s something to celebrate.

5. Stop using your appearance to define your worth.

The way you look is such a small part of who you are. How much you weigh, what you look like, the shape of your body, your skin color, ethnicity, and clothing size do NOT have the power to discount your worth as a human being.

You are defined by who you are inside—by your character, your goals, your morals, your dreams, your heart, the love you have to give, your values, your attitude, and the way you treat others.

You are SO much more than how you look and what you weigh. You’re a spirit and a soul. You’re a force of nature and a source of power. You’re energy and light and love. You’re full of insight, experience, potential, and possibility. You have so much more to offer this world than your appearance.

6. Redefine the qualities you feel ashamed of.

Recognize that no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. Everyone has unpleasant qualities, limitations, obnoxious habits, and annoying quirks. Those less favorable traits however aren’t all of who we are. They don’t discount our positive aspects, and they most certainly don’t make us undeserving of love.

Instead of using these qualities as proof of your inadequacy, choose to redefine them in a more positive light.

Being sensitive doesn’t have to be a sign of weakness. It can be a gateway to connection. Being sensitive helps people to treat others with compassion and kindness, form deep friendships, and sympathize with the struggles of others. Sensitivity gives you a caring soul.

Being shy doesn’t have to be a social inadequacy. It makes people good listeners and helps them to be more observant of their surroundings. When you take the time to listen and watch what’s going on around you, you learn a lot.

Being childish doesn’t have to translate to immaturity. I can mean someone isn’t afraid to be silly and laugh at themselves. Getting in touch with your inner child allows people to connect with kids and gives them a youthful spirit.

Being needy doesn’t mean someone is a burden. Everyone has needs, and everyone deserves to get those needs met. Someone who is needy is simply good at asking for what they want and taking care of themselves.

Whatever the qualities are, know that they can be redefined and used as a strength.

7. Forgive yourself for making mistakes.

A lot of us think that being “good” or “worthy” means being perfect. The reality is that no one is perfect. Everyone messes up. Everyone struggles and has a difficult time with life. Making mistakes doesn’t make you inadequate or incapable—it makes you human.

Instead of beating yourself up for being imperfect, embrace your humanness and forgive yourself. Know that you’re doing the best you can and that’s all you can ask of yourself. It’s enough.

You can’t go back in time and erase your mistakes, but you can always learn from them. You can always choose to use them as an opportunity for growth.

***Know that there is nothing wrong with who you are.

You are wonderful and special and one of a kind.

You are seen and heard.

You are important and valued and appreciated.

And most importantly, you are loved.

Source: Internal Acceptance Movement

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 Post subject: Re: How to Find Self-Acceptance
PostPosted: Sat Nov 19, 2016 4:51 pm 
orange like clockwork

Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2016 1:50 pm
Posts: 284
Thanks for posting that I'm sure it'll help many people but I have some issues with that.

1. This is a good point, I try to do that and I think it will work for many people
2. Sadly in Russia it's still kind of a no go to show your weakness as a male. The sad thing is that it's easier to admit doing a crime like drug dealing or beating people up to a point that they have to go to hospital than having an eating disorder. As for personality traits that I dislike I have no problem to show them and be open about them.
3. But I wasn't born with it. No one wished for me to exist. No even worse, I ruined my mums life by existing.
4. I don't do that really
5. Don't do that either. I wish I could cause my inside is horrible, I have so many regrets in life and I have no problem admitting to them and being confident about them but it's harder to change who you are than what you look like
6. Goof point if you are a good person with minor imperfections. I like to think that I have a good heart for feeling guilty so I actually NEED to feel guilty to prove that I have humanity left in me. At the time I was too dumb and too driven by my addiction to realise that I'm making money from destroying other people's lives. It's easy to keep going when you replace every guilt trip with a trip on chems or acids.
Those aren't minor imperfections those are things I should have gone to prison for. I didn't cause I was underage and never got caught. But I should have. And I just can't tell myself that it's okay cause that would be a lie.
7. same problem as 6. Nearly killing someone because you are too stupid to understand the effects of your actions isn't something you can just forgive.

And the fact that I'm here means that there IS something wrong with me.
And being loved... Yeah by one person where I don't understand why he even puts up with me and two people who doesn't know the bad side of me. And it literally wouldn't matter if I'm there or not to 99% of the world.

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