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 Post subject: Accountability Ideas
PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 7:37 am 
orange you glad?

Joined: Mon Sep 13, 2010 9:18 am
Posts: 1433
Location: Mid North Coast, Australia
Hey, so am trying to fight the purging. I have a lovely person who is meant to be an accountability person
But I always hold back in admitting anything. So she always finds out and blah. Does anyone have any ideas/strategies in how to make accountability work?

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Katie <3

He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the LORD was my support.


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 Post subject: Re: Accountability Ideas
PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 5:09 pm 
orange addict
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Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 4:55 pm
Posts: 198
Location: England
(I MISSED YOU SO MUCH KATIE OH MY GOD HOW ARE YOU ARE YOU BACK PLEASE BE BACK)

(ah hem)

That's really hard! Maybe you could try setting yourself a period of time in which you will be totally honest about your purging? So maybe say "This week, I will be fully accountable for my purging, and if it is absolutely horrible and un-doable then I will go back to lying about it". The idea, of course, is that you tell yourself that every week!

I find it useful sometimes to put an end-date/ 'get out clause' on things that I know I'll find hard (especially as, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, it isn't that bad at all). I know it sounds a little disordered, but it's something my therapist recommended, and it honestly helps.

Take care,
Jess xx

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Formerly SeetherChick! You can call me Jess :)

Ivan Turgenev wrote:
If we wait for the moment when everything—absolutely everything—is ready, we shall never begin.


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 Post subject: Re: Accountability Ideas
PostPosted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 11:25 pm 
admin goddess from hell
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Joined: Fri May 02, 2008 1:10 am
Posts: 12363
Is your accountability person another person with an ED, like a recovery buddy? If so, I kinda encourage people to shy away from "recovery buddies", as it seems to really promote a lot of angst about being open and honest lest you trigger the other person.

If not, is this the best person for you to be accountable to, and why? Is it a clinician, or a friend, or a colleague? Some relationships are just not the best for accountability, so it's worth really looking closely at why or how this person became your A.P.

If you think this person is the right person, then perhaps you could look at how you are supposed to communicate urges to this person. Do you phone, text, is it someone living in the same household, or...? What would the best way be for you to let an A.P. know that you are struggling with an urge?

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Let it be.

~~ John Lennon


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 Post subject: Re: Accountability Ideas
PostPosted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 7:41 pm 
power lies within
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Joined: Fri Dec 25, 2009 9:00 pm
Posts: 6147
I have to echo Spender. I really don't think exclusive "recovery buddies" are a good idea.

There are three main things that stand in the way of me being accountable for ED behaviour. One is a desire to hide that behaviour because it is making me feel good even though I know that it's not okay, another is not wanting to trigger another person in recovery, and the third is burning shame. Sometimes they overlap.

Anyways, do you also discuss positive things with your "accountability person"? Maybe being able to pair progress with setbacks would help.

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 Post subject: Re: Accountability Ideas
PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 5:58 am 
orange you glad?

Joined: Mon Sep 13, 2010 9:18 am
Posts: 1433
Location: Mid North Coast, Australia
Rest assured, she has no history with an ED except through a close family friend.
I have been trying to think of pairing progress with setbacks, thanks Delenda. It's hard finding the balance though because clearly ignoring the setbacks isn't helpful..

Spender, it is someone in the same household. I have, just now, started up a very private blog. She sees the posts and I think this might be a good way as I find it easier to write out what's going on anyway, then she can check it as she pleases and keep tabs. THat way, it's not dominating our lives, I feel I can be honest and not hide etc. Hmm.. we will see :) I do usually text when struggling with an urge.. it's easier that way.

(JESS!! I'VE MISSED YOU TOO!!!!!!!)

I like your idea.. the 'end date'.. I've tried that with a few other things ED specific.. and it's helpful! Thanks.. I might still give it a go! :D

_________________
Katie <3

He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the LORD was my support.


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