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 Post subject: weight talk
PostPosted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 3:32 pm 
power lies within
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I'm not sure if there's a thread for this that I can't find, or if I've only seen examples in journals.

Anyways. I know we all deal with this issue. Friends/coworkers/whomever who talk about their new diet, or their weight loss, or spout off bogus nutritional facts, or tell you all about their fitness routine.

And it's hard to tell these people to shut up, because you are about them and you are glad something is making them happy. But at best this talk is annoying, and at worst, it's triggering.

So I figured we'd start a thread for it, because every case is a little different.

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 Post subject: Re: weight talk
PostPosted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 3:35 pm 
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I have a friend whom I see nearly everyday. She knows I have an eating disorder. She knows I have the knowledge to call bullshit on fad diets.

But apparently she is losing weight. I actually can't see it, but she must be. She never actually tells me, "I've lost X pounds" or anything like that. Instead, she says things like "my old favorite dress fits me again!" or "I can fit into all my roommate's jeans now!"

I think I am going to approach her and tell her that I am glad she is feeling confident, but that the size of her body does not matter to me. She's EXTREMELY sensitive, so I worry about hurting her feelings by saying that. I might ask her to just say things like "I borrow these jeans from my roommate" instead of implying she lost weight to fit in them.

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 Post subject: Re: weight talk
PostPosted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 3:42 pm 
orange you prolific
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^ Is it just me or is borrowing clothes from your roommate kind of weird?

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 Post subject: Re: weight talk
PostPosted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 3:43 pm 
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komich wrote:
^ Is it just me or is borrowing clothes from your roommate kind of weird?


It's just you.

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 Post subject: Re: weight talk
PostPosted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 5:08 pm 
orange you prolific
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delenda wrote:
komich wrote:
^ Is it just me or is borrowing clothes from your roommate kind of weird?


It's just you.


In my defense I've never actually had a roommate anywhere close to my size. My roommates have tended to be a lot taller than me (not hard, I'm quite petite) and either much bigger in the boobs or much smaller.

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“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”


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 Post subject: Re: weight talk
PostPosted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 2:51 am 
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Delenda, most weight talk doesn't trigger me, but could you say something to her next time like, "Oh, wow! I'm glad that makes you happy, but you know I don't care about your weight. I just like to have fun with you!" Or something like that. I'm thinking if you said it two or three times she would stop telling you things like that and it may feel less confrontational to her (it would to me, if I said things like that to people).

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 Post subject: Re: weight talk
PostPosted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 2:52 am 
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But this is a good thread to start, because with January 1 comes all the "resolutions": lose weight, get fit, eat healthy foods, et cetera. The best defence to known triggers is to be prepared in advance, so I'm wondering how other members handle weight talk?

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 Post subject: Re: weight talk
PostPosted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 12:51 pm 
orange goddess
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For me, if someone starts talking about their weight or diet, or now have my "diet talk smile" that I paint on...I literally look at them with an aunt Sally type smile, and dont say anything...that usually gets the message across that I dont want to talk about it, and to those that know my history, it makes the penny drop for them at how inappropriate they are being. In extreme cases, where the person just doesnt get my facial expression, I will say, "hmmm, I wonder why weight loss is so important to you?" but it depends on my audience. I have one friend who talks on and on about it like it is the holy grail, and i reflect this back to her, as she really has stuff going on with weight and identity,.but again, its about knowing your audience. The smile works best!
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 Post subject: Re: weight talk
PostPosted: Sat Dec 14, 2013 4:14 am 
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smythie wrote:
I literally look at them with an aunt Sally type smile


"Aunt Sally"?

Bu, bu, buttttt...that would be a very scary smile!

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 Post subject: Re: weight talk
PostPosted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 11:41 pm 
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If it's someone who knows about my eating disorder, I say "I don't need to hear this" and walk away. I find weight talk more triggering than most things, and I prefer to not hear it at all. If not, I just find an excuse to leave. SO SUBTLE.

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 Post subject: Re: weight talk
PostPosted: Sun Dec 22, 2013 10:47 am 
orange goddess
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Quote:
"Aunt Sally"?

Bu, bu, buttttt...that would be a very scary smile!


Indeed S....I like to think I am a warm, friendly, kind person....but if someone rattles my cage, I can and will crack out my bat shit scary side!!!;0)

xx

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