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 Post subject: Where does my ED finish and I begin?!
PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2012 6:06 pm 
orange goddess
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Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2007 7:19 am
Posts: 1613
Location: United Kingdom-Nottingham
When we are in the throes of an ED , we tend to give ourselves over to it's beliefs, rules and behaviours. I know for me, when i was in the depths of my ED i was behaving in ways which really were not consistent with what i believed in, the person behind the ED. I lied to everyone; friends,family, professionals, strangers!! I was nasty, and snappy to people, I was unreliable, I was never there for my friends, I was incompetent at work and all of this caused me so much distress and fed my belief that I was a "bad person".

So through therapy and training, I worked on finding out what mybeliefs and morals were....and this really helped me in the process of reconnecting to meand disconnecting from the ED.

I invite you all to use this thread to write out what your ED is telling u to believe and what your true beliefs and morals actually are.
Nowadays my ED beliefs are not so present, cos I started to challenge them and reconnect with my real beliefs…here are what my main ED beliefs were…some still present in me at times, but boy do I recognize them when they appear and bat them down with all my might.
My ED Beliefs
1You are only worthy of love and acceptance if you are thin
2)There is no such thing as thin enough…keep going and going and going…
3)Fat people are weak and out of control
4)if you eat anything more than I tell you you will gain weight instantly
5)Others are inherently good, you are a worthless, piece of crap that must be controlled and ruled rigidly
6)Nothing you do is good enough
7)You must lie to others and can never disobey me.
8)Thinness is a sign of success and fatness or any weight gain is a sign of weakness
9)you don’t need or deserve people in your life
Etc etc etc

My Beliefs
1)I believe that people are inherently good and worthy of love, respect and their voice regardless of shape, size, colour, religion, sex, sexual preference, race, ethinicity, age.
2)I believe that I am good enough just as I am and that I deserve to be loved and accepted EXACTLY as I am.
3)I believe in being honest, reliable trustworthy and responsible.
4) I believe weight is but a number and size is not an indicator of worth
5) I believe laughter and humor are one of the best medicines in life.
6)I believe in balance, serenity and gentleness.
7) I believe in respecting others autonomy and right to be who they want to be.
8) I believe people who think, live and behave differently to me are not WRONG but simply different to how I am.

Now work everyday on living more in accordance with your beliefs!Start disobeying ur ED beliefs and have the right to live your life in accordance with your true self!!!

Everything is ok in the end..........if it's not ok then it's NOT the end!!!

whether u think u can, or think u cant-UR RIGHT!

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 Post subject: Re: Where does my ED finish and I begin?!
PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2012 9:41 pm 
orange you prolific
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2011 9:42 pm
Posts: 3972
Location: US
This is great!

-she learned a simple, obvious thing she had always known, and everyone knew. that a person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn, not easily mended.

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 Post subject: Re: Where does my ED finish and I begin?!
PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 8:06 pm 
orange is a state of mind

Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2011 4:44 pm
Posts: 2936
Location: Australia
ED beliefs

1. You can't cope without me.
2. You've had this for so long, you take away the ed and your friends won't like the new you.
3. Control is important, without it your life will be chaos
4. I keep the pain away. Food will increase the bad emotions and increase flashbacks
5. You fat now so imagine if you stopped under eating.
6. Restricting is the only thing you are good at.
7. People will stop caring if you eat normally and weight restore
8. Your a lost cause but at least your life makes sense with the ed
9. You eat, you become fat, people see you as the ugly messed up person you are.
10. Nothing about you is good enough. And if you think you have done something good then you have set a way too low standard for yourself.
11. You will be more depressed
12. You will have no identity without the ed
13. You will lose control with food and people will see you as fat, hopeless, greedy and selfish.
14. You won't be able to hide from the world and you will be exposed to more hurt if you recover.
15. If your weight is within the average weight requirements (healthy) you WILL be average.
16. Without the ed you will be alone.
17. Your self worth is calculated by that number on the scale and calorie intake

I could keep going :(

My beliefs
(This is tricky )
1. I deserve to be happy, to laugh and enjoy things.
2. I deserve to feel safe.
3. I can achieve things in life.
4. I deserve to let go of the pain and guilt.
5. Its OK to feel sad, upset, to be angry and hurt by what has happened.
6. I am not a second rate citizen compared to the rest of the world. I can be worthy of good things too.
7. I am not an illness or a number.
8. Perfection is not real and its not a requirement for life
9. Its OK to make mistakes, I can't learn and grow without them.
10. I don't deserve to keep punishing myself for what someone else did to me.
11. Freedom, uncertainty and possibilities don't mean chaos but hope and dreams.

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 Post subject: Re: Where does my ED finish and I begin?!
PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 8:12 pm 
power lies within
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Joined: Sun Apr 06, 2008 10:57 pm
Posts: 6396
Location: planting my garden
Oh my gosh, thank you Ciara for this thread, thank you Katemaree for bumping it, and thank you both for your answers!!! Wow.

“If I am not for me, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now, when?”
- Rabbi Hillel

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 Post subject: Re: Where does my ED finish and I begin?!
PostPosted: Sun Aug 23, 2015 1:54 am 
orange is a state of mind

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2009 8:14 pm
Posts: 2434
I stumbled upon this tonight and thought it was really good and deserved a bump.
And now I'll give it a try:

ED Beliefs
- my eating disorder will protect me
- food is bad and will make me sick
- I don't deserve to be happy or to eat
- I'm unlovable and inherently bad
- I'm not good enough, I can't make mistakes
- I need structure otherwise everything will fall apart
- I only deserve to eat if I exercise
- It is my identity

My Beliefs
- I am so much more than an eating disorder. I am an aunt, a daughter, sister, friend, social worker, counsellor, student, etc.
- I deserve to be happy and healthy
- Making mistakes suck, but it isn't the end of the world
- I deserve to get the rest and the care that I need
- Food is necessary to live
- My future is in my control and there are always choices

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 Post subject: Re: Where does my ED finish and I begin?!
PostPosted: Sun Sep 27, 2015 10:51 am 
stranger in an orange land

Joined: Sun Sep 20, 2015 2:15 am
Posts: 2
ED Beliefs
1. You'll be happier when you're thin.
2. You aren't good enough.
3. You can be underweight and not suffer any health problems.
4. You can't talk to anyone about what you're going through.
5. Getting thin is all that matters.

My Beliefs
1. I have a lot to offer the world.
2. The people I love are more important than my ED.
3. My ED is destructive and dangerous.
4. I can be something other than thin, and it will be okay.

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 Post subject: Re: Where does my ED finish and I begin?!
PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 3:05 pm 
feeling out the orange
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Joined: Fri Nov 13, 2015 4:56 am
Posts: 19
Location: Denmark
My ED beliefs:
1) You will (only) like yourself, when you are leaner
2) You will gain weight. Instantly. No matter what.
3) You eat too much
4) You have no willpower
5) You are, in reality, quite disgusting.
6) Being anorexic was better than being the way you are now (i.e. bigger)
7) You are a lazy piece of trash
8) People who only eat a little are cooler

What I rationally know:
1) All of the above is BS

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