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PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2010 10:17 pm 
admin goddess from hell
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I think I need a t-shirt or a sign that says, "Please do not feed the eating disorder".

What are your triggers?

I was at a craft fair today and found a really neat leather/steel belt and wrapped it around my hips to see if it was big enough to go with my jeans, which are low rise. It was. But the three women at the stall started saying, "Oh to be so thin" and stuff like that, which I always find really triggering.

How do they make you feel?

I immediately and firmly told them that no, they DON'T want to be this thin and left the stall without buying the belt. I felt angry with them for feeling free to say something to me about my body, and for not seeing me. They saw only an outline, the one that has been raised on a pedestal. I also felt angry with myself, because much as I asserted myself, I felt that frisson that was the smug and self-satisfied voice in my head saying, "See? It IS ok - it is actually GOOD. You're special because you have something that other people don't."

What can you do to change your reaction to your triggers?

I told my friend and daughter that I was upset with the comments as we walked away, and I reiterated to myself and them the losses, the active threats to my health, the treatments I have to undergo.

I don't know that it is enough, but I need to accept that people do not see ME; they see a shape. They don't see the ravages on my face and body; they see an outline. And that is not their fault, nor is it their problem: it is my problem and I have to deal with it.

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Let it be.

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2010 11:30 pm 
orange is a state of mind

Joined: Fri Nov 27, 2009 7:42 pm
Posts: 2473
^Extremes get people's attention. Twice a year I go to on-campus schools at my uni (I study by correspondance otherwise and live 6 hours away). When I was noticably underweight and attending these schools, the first thing people would comment on when meeting me was my weight. It did my head in for the very same reasons you detailed above; they saw an outline and not ME or the bruises or the grey colouring of my skin, or the bald patches on my scalp......Last res school I went to I was a healthy weight and I felt as if that gave me the freedom to make impressions on people ON MY OWN TERMS. By not visibly embodying a figure that was so shocking, that gave me space to be appreciated as a whole person, or at least more than just a shape.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 28, 2011 11:04 pm 
orange you prolific
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Joined: Sat Feb 26, 2011 5:20 pm
Posts: 3559
Location: SE Michigan
What are your triggers? People I go to school with (I'm a decade older than some of them but that doesn't seem to matter to my ED mindset). People I see at the gym. Hell...people anywhere that are thinner than me.

People who are/were sicker than I was. The idea of going IP (I only ever had to have therapy). Having to get a bigger size in anything. Anything of mine that no longer fits. BATHING SUITS. People eating less than I do. Being sick after eating.


How do they make you feel?
Like I was never sick enough to warrant recovery. Like I should go back to being sick and get sicker than I was so I feel worthy of recovery. Like I should have never gained so much weight recovering.

What can you do to change your reaction to your triggers?
I'm not sure. Some of them (the idea of going IP) are things I can avoid thinking about at least sometimes, the rest I have to live with. That's the big issue with EDs in my opinion, you have to live with your triggers everyday. So I'm still trying to figure that out.

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(((hugs))),

Kelly

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My cats think I'm perfect just the way I am!

Your feelings will not kill you, engaging in disordered behaviors could.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”


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PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2011 1:47 am 
getting under the peel

Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 11:53 pm
Posts: 49
What are your triggers?

Seeing people that are thinner than me
Fashion magazines
People around me talking about how much weight they've lost
My parents fighting and/or fighting with my parents
Being made fun of

How do they make me feel?

Jealous, Lonely, and Worthless

What can I do to change my reaction to triggers?

Remind myself that I'm worth it. Remind myself that I have everything going for me. Remind myself that I am more than how thin I am. Remind myself that my family loves me.


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 Post subject: Re: Identifying your triggers
PostPosted: Wed May 18, 2011 3:07 pm 
orange wonder
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Joined: Sat May 07, 2011 1:59 pm
Posts: 4146
What are your triggers?


Woman and girls that are thinner then me or in general people who seem to invest a lot of time in their outward appearance; increasingly also very thin or very muscular men
Fashion catalogues
TV
Certain tastes in my mouth
Thinking about how often/ how much I have eaten
Mirrors
Looking at my belly or my thighs



How do they make you feel?

Judged, Humiliated, Exposed
Weak, Undisciplined, Angry at myself
Misshapen, Expanding, Grotesque


What can you do to change your reaction to your triggers?

Remind myself that other people's standards don't have to be mine, and that if I were to judge people I could just as easily chose a criterion that would not make me the inferior part

Stop comparing myself to others. Try to look at other people (especially women) without suspicion, look for their good sides and be happy for them

Relax... it's only food....

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Conscience has no jury
Like eyes to details turned
Nor has shame a stage
Life perfectionism scorned



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 Post subject: Re: Identifying your triggers
PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 12:59 am 
orange wonder
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Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2009 10:49 am
Posts: 4220
Location: The Rocky Mountains
I don't think I utilize the tools in this section nearly enough.

What are your triggers?
My biggest one is people sharing their weight loss stories. It happened when a well-meaning friend began telling me how she lost a shitload of weight after her health was in jeopardy.

How do they make you feel?
Like my sense of identity is jeopardized. I USED to be the girl with the insane weight loss story and it made me feel special. Now when I hear weight loss stories, I feel jealous, angry, and like a complete failure. I feel like my glory days are over.

What can you do to change your reaction to these triggers?
For some people, like this friend, honesty is the best policy. I don't have to talk about my ED, I can simply say that weight loss is not a relevant topic to me. For other people I don't know well, I need to be patient with myself. I need to remember that weight loss does NOT define a person and that most of those people's stories are bullshit because they'll either gain back the weight they lost, or the problems they initially thought they solved by losing the weight did not go away. Just as mine didn't go away either.

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 Post subject: Re: Identifying your triggers
PostPosted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 4:33 pm 
galactic orange
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Joined: Thu Feb 03, 2011 10:45 am
Posts: 969
Location: Florida
What are your triggers?
I'm feeling triggered by my roommate's eating habits. She eats a lot of processed food, sugar free, low/no fat and the like. She eats it in massive quantities (massive according to my ED but realistically, still much more than is probably healthy). She is in denial about how those foods are actually really bad for you, aren't actually as satisfying as the real thing, and we all know the rest. I don't like seeing her food around. Also, she is a loud eater ( :-? ).

How do they make you feel?

It makes me feel uncomfortable and slightly self loathing.

A) I'm jealous that she eats whatever she wants and doesn't seem to give a shit.
B) I hate how it reminds me of my binge eating which is something that is really difficult for me to deal with.
C) I get mad at myself for not just minding my own business even though I know that's counterproductive.

What can you do to change your reaction to your triggers?
I'm having a really difficult time finding the answer to this. I came up with a few potentials but am very open to feedback.

I think that if I'm already having a rough day, I should leave the room if she is eating something that might trigger me. I also think that I just have to get over some things. I can't and shouldn't try to change her, it's not my place.

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Skills can be taught. Character you either have or don't have.
-Anthony Bourdain


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 Post subject: Re: Identifying your triggers
PostPosted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 11:01 pm 
power lies within
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Joined: Fri Dec 25, 2009 9:00 pm
Posts: 6147
I think it's important to remember that not everyone has an ED. Whenever I hear someone talk about low-calorie this or no-fat that, a nutrition lecture jumps into my mouth. But even if everything you say is correct, it may not be relevant. Because of my experience with alcoholics, I immediately become concerned if someone mentions that they've been drunk every weekend for a month. But even though what they are doing isn't healthy, they don't necessarily have a "problem".

I'm not telling you to 'get over it' or invalidating that you find her foods triggering, but perhaps looking at it in perspective could help.

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 Post subject: Re: Identifying your triggers
PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 9:54 am 
galactic orange
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Joined: Thu Feb 03, 2011 10:45 am
Posts: 969
Location: Florida
Thanks, delenda. I actually thought that what you said was validating in actuality. You were able to accept that I am triggered by something but reframed the trigger. Sometimes, dealing with triggers is accepting things you can't change and this is one of those situations.

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Skills can be taught. Character you either have or don't have.
-Anthony Bourdain


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 Post subject: Re: Identifying your triggers
PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 8:21 pm 
stranger in an orange land

Joined: Sun Sep 18, 2011 8:14 pm
Posts: 1
Triggers: Feeling hungry, looking in mirrors/reflective surfaces, my mom eating, wedding planning with my sister.

Feelings:
Being hungry is such an ingrained feeling. It makes me just want to stay that way.
Mirrors make me feel really fat
My mom eating makes me feel like I need to police her food choices and mine too.
Wedding planning with a much thinner sister makes me feel worthless and fat.

What I can do:
AHHH - bring snacks to work with me! Duh! I keep forgetting or ed keeps me from remembering to bring food with me!
Avoid all mirrors, reflective surfaces
Remind myself that I don't have to be my mom's diet coach - I can break that relationship pattern.
Remember that wedding planning is supposed to be fun and my bridesmaid dress will be the size that fit not the size that ed wants it to be.


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 Post subject: Re: Identifying your triggers
PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 7:02 am 
orange you glad?
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Joined: Sat Jun 05, 2010 5:12 pm
Posts: 1158
Location: Somerset
My triggers:

arguments with my parents make me want to go "Right. I'm not eating" or "Right. I'm making myself sick"
People talking about how thin people are

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xx Johanna

"Real strength never impairs beauty or harmony, but it often bestows it; and in everything imposingly beautiful, strength has much to do with the magic." - Herman Melville, Moby Dick


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 Post subject: Re: Identifying your triggers
PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 11:15 am 
orange is a state of mind
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Posts: 2844
Location: Western Australia
Every shop assistant in the clothing store being some ridiculously small size
It makes me not want to try on anything in there, it feels unrealistic, and like I'm the biggest one.

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The children almost broken by the world become the adults most likely to change it


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 Post subject: Re: Identifying your triggers
PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 6:35 pm 
orange is hot
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Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 3:17 pm
Posts: 136
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
What are your triggers?
when my girlfriend calls girls who aren't overweight but are what society considers normal or curvy, maybe a little big, "fat". like people who are the size of jenna or claire from degrassi. or even jane from degrassi! anyone with a tummy basically because my girlfriend is a stick, and admittedly i suppose i am too so i guess in a way she's trying to help me to realize i am too and to get me to feel good about myself and to pride ourselves upon it. she never does it to the people's face and she has many friends who are overweight so she doesn't nessacarily base her judgement on their actual character on this

How do they make you feel?
like i can't let my body get to that size or i'll be "fat", even if it's healthy or what my body needs or wants. pissed because it's what i used to look like but she screams at me anytime i say i used to be "fat" and says i was never fat and i'm being ridiculous.


What can you do to change your reaction to your triggers?
well yesterday i told her how i felt so that was good :) but from now on i need to stop taking it to heart because its stupid. it's obviously HER opinion, not mine or even the majority of the world's. and besides who cares what the world thinks? i need to worry about getting healthy, thats where she wants me to be anyways. she's not gonna think i'm fat she's gonna be over the moon that i'm finally there. but i can also gently remind her that the people arent fat and not to say that in front of me PLEASE when we're watching tv or in public when she says that.


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 Post subject: Re: Identifying your triggers
PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 8:44 pm 
getting under the peel
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Joined: Wed Dec 14, 2011 10:41 pm
Posts: 49
What are your triggers?
What triggered me today was my parents. Belittling me and what I felt, was attacking me about financial stuff that is their fault and not mine. this resulted in me not eating dinner because I was too upset to sit in a room with them and once I tried to find something to eat i felt lost in the cupboard and gave up.

How do they make you feel?
Useless. Angry. Small.

What can you do to change your reaction to your triggers?
I have to remind myself that it's their problem, not mine. even if they shove it off on me. they are responsible for it and not me so i need to stop putting the whole families problems on my shoulders.


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 Post subject: Re: Identifying your triggers
PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2012 2:36 pm 
orange is a state of mind

Joined: Thu Jul 09, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 2530
something that triggers my anxiety:

Overstimulus. example: at my counseling office, the waiting room is horrid with this - music playing, tv blaring, reception area loud with constant activity, people constantly coming and going, etc. This stresses me to the max and i have panic attacks.


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