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 Post subject: Re: Stories can't hurt you! - PLEASE READ THE VERY 1ST POST!
PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 3:02 am 
orange is a state of mind

Joined: Fri Nov 27, 2009 7:42 pm
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nomnivore wrote:
Story: I have nothing to do today, so let's binge all day

Thanks mind, but I'm not hungry. And if I have nothing to do, maybe I could go out instead of sitting at home and eating. It's been a hard week, so maybe I could do something nice and relaxing.


Hey there nomnivore :)

Have you read the first post in this thread? Because it explains the tool of "defusion", which is actually quite different to challenging thoughts (what you did here). See Stellie's posts above for some excellent examples of defusion.


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 Post subject: Re: Stories can't hurt you! - PLEASE READ THE VERY 1ST POST!
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 3:42 pm 
Orange Admin
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Story: "You spend so much money on food. It would be so much cheaper if you just didn't eat so much."

Thanks for making me aware of that thought, but since that's clearly the disorder speaking and not me I won't pay any attention to it and I certainly won't act on it.

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"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got."


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 Post subject: Re: Stories can't hurt you! - PLEASE READ THE VERY 1ST POST!
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 4:33 pm 
kismetjeska
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Story: You can just stay at this weight for a while. No need to try and gain.

Okay, so that is a thought that I am having. Here's another one: I'll go do another crossword. I really do like crosswords.


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 Post subject: Re: Stories can't hurt you! - PLEASE READ THE VERY 1ST POST!
PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 1:13 am 
orange is a state of mind

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:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:


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 Post subject: Re: Stories can't hurt you! - PLEASE READ THE VERY 1ST POST!
PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 4:25 am 
orange goddess
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I don't know, I don't really get how this works

"I'm fat" - that's just a story. But it's not because I really am fat. So how is calling it the "I'm fat story" going to help

"I won't be able to stop binging" Yes, I guess that's just a story. But I find the whole "Call it a story" thing kind of weird and pointless. It feels like the Secret "Just label all your bad feelings a story". It's not actually dealing with them, it's just calling them a cutesy name.

I mean, I know they're just thoughts, but they're bloody persistant thoughts, and I can't seem to defuse from them at all. I've tried this technique over and over again in ACT and it just makes me frustrated and doesn't help at all.

Maybe ACT just isn't for me.

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 Post subject: Re: Stories can't hurt you! - PLEASE READ THE VERY 1ST POST!
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 4:05 pm 
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i have so far only read the first entry of this and just wanted to say thank you kizzy. It is great information xxx

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 Post subject: Re: Stories can't hurt you! - PLEASE READ THE VERY 1ST POST!
PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2012 2:30 pm 
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story of my day - "if you want this girl to believe you are a 'real' anoretic then you need to be as thin as or thinner than her, then she will listen to you", answer, how can i except this girl to listen and take my advice on recovery if im sicker than her?????doesnt make sense.

My daughter just said she loves me more than the whole wide world :topic: i know but this also helps diffuse the story

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 Post subject: Re: Stories can't hurt you! - PLEASE READ THE VERY 1ST POST!
PostPosted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 2:08 pm 
orange is a state of mind
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"You can't eat when you don't have an appetite! That's breaking every rule of normative eating!"

Stop that. You don't know a lick about normative eating if you think that skipping meals is going to help anything at this point. Now on to better things, eh?

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 Post subject: Re: Stories can't hurt you! - PLEASE READ THE VERY 1ST POST!
PostPosted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 2:12 pm 
orange you prolific
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Kate the great wrote:
"You can't eat when you don't have an appetite! That's breaking every rule of normative eating!"

Stop that. You don't know a lick about normative eating if you think that skipping meals is going to help anything at this point. Now on to better things, eh?


I struggle with that one too.

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Your feelings will not kill you, engaging in disordered behaviors could.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”


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 Post subject: Re: Stories can't hurt you! - PLEASE READ THE VERY 1ST POST!
PostPosted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 2:14 pm 
orange you prolific
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"If you were thinner people would like you more and that would help you keep this job." and "Restricting could make you forget your anxiety."


Obviously this is my anxiety talking. My size probably has nothing to do with what people think of my job performance.

Other things that wouldn't hurt me could do the same thing (make me forget my anxiety) like listening to music or reading a book or playing with my cats.

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(((hugs))),

Kelly

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My cats think I'm perfect just the way I am!

Your feelings will not kill you, engaging in disordered behaviors could.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”


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 Post subject: Re: Stories can't hurt you! - PLEASE READ THE VERY 1ST POST!
PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 8:45 am 
stranger in an orange land

Joined: Wed Jun 12, 2013 3:45 pm
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Location: Perth Andover, New Brunswick Canada
Something to work at for sure. Great message. :)


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 Post subject: Re: Stories can't hurt you! - PLEASE READ THE VERY 1ST POST!
PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:28 am 
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Story: "I can stop binging but I don't have to stop using laxatives... right?"

Thanks for the thought, mind, but laxatives are increasingly damaging to my health and I want to be able to be happy and healthy. Besides, it's not really recovery if I'm still engaging in ED behaviors. I don't think I'll be acting on this today.

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 Post subject: Re: Stories can't hurt you! - PLEASE READ THE VERY 1ST POST!
PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 1:53 pm 
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Kylie wrote:
Story: "I can stop binging but I don't have to stop using laxatives... right?"

Thanks for the thought, mind, but laxatives are increasingly damaging to my health and I want to be able to be happy and healthy. Besides, it's not really recovery if I'm still engaging in ED behaviors. I don't think I'll be acting on this today.


"And while we're on the subject, eating disorder, let's not forget that laxatives don't actually result in weight loss because they act on the lower bowel, after most of the nutrition is absorbed. All they do is deplete my stores of hydration and electrolytes."

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Let it be.

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 Post subject: Re: Stories can't hurt you! - PLEASE READ THE VERY 1ST POST!
PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:42 pm 
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It might be helpful to go back and read the first post.

Quote:
Once you've acknowledged a story, that's it - just let it be. You don't have to challenge it or push it away, nor do you have to give it much attention. Simply let it come and go as it pleases, while you channel your energy into doing something you value.

It is this approach that separates ACT from older therapies, such as CBT, which actually encourages people to challenge their unhelpful thoughts. ACT doesn't believe in wasting any more time and energy in fighting against old stories. It encourages people to think of unhelpful thoughts/stories as listening to the radio as background noise as you go about your daily activities; you are generally aware that it is going on in the background, but you choose to focus on the more important tasks at hand - your moment-by-moment LIFE.


If you ladies find combating your thoughts more helpful than that's fine, but I think this thread is more about naming the "story" and letting it be. I think we have other threads for "thought combating". Maybe I can find it...

Just thought I should mention that since Kizzi isn't around to do it :)

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It will always be there, sitting between you and the incredible life that is waiting on the other side. So I guess it's up to you when you want to deal with it, how many years you think is enough of a sacrifice, how much life you are willing to lose.


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 Post subject: Re: Stories can't hurt you! - PLEASE READ THE VERY 1ST POST!
PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 3:14 pm 
Orange Admin
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"Your worth depends on what you weigh. Right now, you weigh too much to have any real worth."

Oh right. Thanks for that story, ED. That's not really original, is it? Oh dear. Time to do something more interesting than elaborate on that idea.

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"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got."


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