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 Post subject: U.K. mother wants daughter to have eating disorder?!?
PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 9:51 pm 
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This just blew my mind. I'm at a loss for words.

(Possible trigger warning... I'm not sure, but it does mention calorie totals.)

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/u-k-mother-welcomes-eating-disorder-over-weight-problem-2401666/?pg=8#comments

Just...WTF?

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 9:58 pm 
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holy shit, her mom's fucked up.

excuse my language, but I think it is warrented.

I hope someone helps the mom *she seruously need it! I also hope someone takes the child and feeds her a healthy amount. Let the child know that it doesn't matter what you look like, it's who you are underneath that's important. Let the child know that no matter what she weighs, she will be loved. I'd adopt her right now if I could.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 10:02 pm 
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Crazy, isn't it? I'd adopt her, too... I couldn't believe it-- and I have to wonder why the mother is getting away with it. Shouldn't the U.K. equivalent of CPS step in, especially if the story has made it's way to the USA? Surely it must be on the news in the U.K., too.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 10:03 pm 
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I honestly don't know what to say right now. I too am at a loss for words. I read this to my mom and she was completely horrified.

I might be able to form some coherent opinion in the future. But right now I just don't know what to say.

I hope they take that child away from her. That has GOT to be abuse....

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 10:24 pm 
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Here they can take kids away if their physical needs are being neglected or they're being abused or they're in physical danger. They can't take them away if the parent is a total nutcase, or if they're experiencing emotional and/or verbal abuse--at least, as far as I know. Certainly there must be something similar in place, in every developed nation... I'd say that having access to adequate food is a basic physical need, and in this case, it's being neglected. Someone in an authoritative position needs to step in, seriously.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 10:31 pm 
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I would be very surprised if this did not contravene child welfare laws almost anywhere in the western world. I would not be surprised if the child was now apprehended and child welfare authorities intervened and worked to assist the mother in developing appropriate parenting skills.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 11:32 pm 
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I really hope someone has stepped in to help that little girl. This makes me sick to my stomach and heartbroken to read about. It makes me angry that the mother willingly toted the kid around for photo shoots and gave shuch completely unapologetic statements.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 11:33 pm 
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I am just gob-smacked. The last thing that a parent would want is their daughter to develop a potentially deadly eating disorder. I think this article shows how un-educated and misinformed our society is about eating disorders and their severity.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 4:52 am 
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:soapbox: That's the only thing that comes to my mind.And she calls herself a mother?!

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 6:31 am 
orange addict

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!!!!!! Horrific. :-?
I have so many intense reactions upon reading that article – rage, indignation, et cetera – but I don't know whether to direct all that at the mother or to pity her, because she is a foooooool. :-( Tragically misguided and clearly with a lot of her own issues. :-?

What really irks me is how she is smiling and placing her hand on the daughter's shoulder and speaking as though this is such a rational enlightened idea! Ludicrous.

I shudder to think of the impact on the child.
All the obvious physical issues that arise from malnutrition...
not to mention the psychological impact from: a) living with such a dysfunctional mother, and b) the fact that being chronically underfed can actually trigger anorexia nervosa – think of that post-war starvation study!

Errrrrrr and of course it is understandable that parents tend to want what they perceive as 'the best' for their children, and yes it is common that mothers can 'push' their daughters to be the person that they always aspired to be during their youth and never managed to achieved... but seriously, she is displaying ignorance to a psychopathological extent! She needs help.

There must be legal implications, surely. At best, this is abuse/neglect. At worst... potential manslaughter? Anorexia kills, and she seemingly has no reservations about encouraging the development of this life-threatening condition in her daughter.

Oh and on another note... this reminds me of the irritating 'What would you rather have: obesity or anorexia?' debate. I have witnessed classmates discussing this, I kid you not! Palm-forehead-SLAP!


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 9:37 am 
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You need to look at where the article is from originally and ask yourself how much this is drammed up to make a better story...

She's known to medical and social services. They see no risk worthy of removing or even closely monitoring her.
At 8 years old, after 6 years on a supposedly starvation diet she is not only a mere 5lbs underweight (she weighs more than I did at age8) but a good height of 4ft 6- no stunted growth miraculously... how?? Your body can go into starvation mode, yes, but it would not grow normally in that state.

I'm sorry, but I don't believe she genuinely is restricting her to no more than 700 calories a day. From what I've read elsewhere, that might perhaps be the MINIMUM she sometimes has a day (not necessarily at all often), and her mum might well be watchful of what she eats, but she is not doing so to the extent the article infers.

This is a story originally from the daily mail/mirror and Closer magazine (a gossip mag that fills you in on who's had lipo etc). Take it with a pinch of salt. Look at the girl in the picture, who is skinny but not emaciated, and ask yourself if you really believe this word for word.
Her attitude is shocking...if it's true. I'm not sure to what EXTENT it's true though. Certainly not to that which this article would like you to believe I imagine...

You can't believe everything you read in trash newspapers/gossip mags. They're far more focussed on making a good story than they are on sticking to the truth.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 10:09 am 
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I remember seeing this on magazine covers last year, i didn't even dare pick it up.

Quote:
“With an eating disorder you can get through it with therapy. But when you’re fat, you’re fat for life,” she said.


That's the most ignorant thing i've ever heard, stupid :soapbox: woman, surely that's child abuse?!?! I'd like to meet that woman and shake her...that poor girl should be taken into social care and fed properly

Sorry if thats super inappropriate, it just..makes me angry :( it isn't even that childs decision!

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 3:25 pm 
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Quote:
You can't believe everything you read in trash newspapers/gossip mags. They're far more focussed on making a good story than they are on sticking to the truth.

Absolutely. Just look what the tabloids put angelina jolie through in the last 2 months... I think she's on heroin now *rolls eyes*

but that being said:
...my mom once said that she'd rather have a child with an eating disorder than a child that was homosexual.

The mom in the article has some serious body issues that she's taking out on her daughter... however intense the case is.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 4:21 pm 
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That is the epitome of bad parenting. I have no other words, except for how sorry I feel for the poor little girl. I hope she can still healthy in the mind at least, anyway. :(

That said, there are a load of things parents can say and they sound worse than they mean: my mum once said she'd rather have no daughter than a fat daughter, in case her little girl ever got bullied. She still loves me though ( :) ) For some reason, I don't feel as if this woman has been misinterpreted though...


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 4:41 pm 
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regardless of the source, that quote had to have been accurate otherwise they wouldn't have been able to publish it. You can twist a lot of situations and get away with it... but twisting a quote will get you in major trouble no matter the newsource.

and that quote alone makes me very sad.

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