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 Post subject: Re: Readiness versus willingness to recover
PostPosted: Sat Jul 23, 2011 2:05 pm 
orange you prolific
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Spender wrote:
It's best not to wait until you're ready: you'll either be dead or sectioned by that point. Learn to be willing, instead.


I'm coming to terms with this. Thank you :heart:

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 Post subject: Re: Readiness versus willingness to recover
PostPosted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 12:26 pm 
orange like clockwork

Joined: Thu Jan 20, 2011 6:12 pm
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also,if you give yourself a chance to recover by being willing the more likely youll become ready b/c you realize how good recovery feels,and it gets better/more enjoyable/easier over time w genuine effort :D :D


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 Post subject: Re: Readiness versus willingness to recover
PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 5:13 pm 
orange you prolific
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Is it possible to embrace recovery in a society that is so focused on weight? Is it possible to be ‘okay’ with weight restoration when being ‘skinny’ is so… approved of? Is it possible to want to get healthy whilst being surrounded by girls who want nothing more than to lose weight? I guess i’m asking.. is it okay to focus on YOUR body and not on others?

Genuine question, here. I think it is, I want to believe its possible but i’d like other experiences and point of views :-)

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"And what's worst, it's all because we fail to recognize our own beauty, because we are deluded into thinking we are inferior. But that's not true. We're different, is all." -faustinchen


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 Post subject: Re: Readiness versus willingness to recover
PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2011 2:19 pm 
orange like clockwork

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CaptainAwesome2.0 wrote:
Is it possible to embrace recovery in a society that is so focused on weight? Is it possible to be ‘okay’ with weight restoration when being ‘skinny’ is so… approved of? Is it possible to want to get healthy whilst being surrounded by girls who want nothing more than to lose weight? I guess i’m asking.. is it okay to focus on YOUR body and not on others?

Genuine question, here. I think it is, I want to believe its possible but i’d like other experiences and point of views :-)

yes,I eventually stop over caring about the gained weight after losing b/c of EDNOS,I always figure,I'm going to have to gain it eventuallymight as well make the best of it and get it over w and cope w it. now it might suck,later it'll be better and youll be glad you did it in the first place :D :D :D :P :heart: good luck


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 Post subject: Re: Readiness versus willingness to recover
PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 2:12 pm 
orange addict
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This is amazing, and so so true. Thank you for posting (and bumping). :)
CatThatGotTheCream wrote:
I feel like I'm not "ready" to do many things but I will be once I'm "perfect", whether perfect means a clothes size or a weight or something else. But I do feel like I'm "nearly there" and will be able to do it soon Same deal with recovery. ED constantly lowers my goal posts and changes what "ready" means so I can never ever expect to feel ready. This is hard to accept. Does that make sense to anyone?
It makes perfect sense to me. Last week I told my psychologist that "I know I need to change, but I really don't want to." Her response confused me in the moment, but has stuck with me throughout the week. She said, "Can we make that 'but' an 'and'?"

Often I categorize things into "if, then" statements. "If I want to change, but I don't feel ready, then I should [insert destructive behavior] only until [insert ever moving and unhealthy standard] so I will be ready." But sometimes two extremes can co-exist in the same moment. Sometimes you can want to recover and feel the need to do self-destructive things, and choose to do the right thing, even though it makes your ED scream like a bear awakened from hibernation. (It's like the reverse of zoo policy-- it's okay to poke and anger the beast). Adjusting my 'but's to 'and's has helped my attitude shift, and has let me realize that right now it's natural to feel these urges to restrict or binge or purge or whatever. It's apart of the process. I can feel like I'm not ready yet, and still be willing to and actively practice the lifestyle of recovery and health.

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 Post subject: Re: Readiness versus willingness to recover
PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 2:58 pm 
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For me, being "ready" was never a thought I considered during recovery after my bout of anorexia. It was more of an obligation. I was worrying my family too much and I took it as a responsibility to take care of myself.

I didn't gain weight or whatever during recovery. I was ILL with the behavior itself but since I wasn't precisely underweight (I was around 115 lbs., I was just losing weight too fast), it wasn't the end of the world (as much as I hated myself/wanted to punish by not eating etc/wanted the feeling of control).

All I had to do was get over my addiction. I was addicted to being empty, I loved it, and for some reason it felt good to punish myself. But I also needed restraint in my own self-restraint so to speak. So that is what I did. Try to control my need for control itself.

You don't have to be ready, you have to be willing.

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 Post subject: Re: Readiness versus willingness to recover
PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 2:32 pm 
feeling out the orange
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Wow thanks for posting that! Thats exactly how I feel but could never really but it into words like you did! I'm not "ready" to recover and I have been wondering why? What's my problem? But you are so right I can't wait around to be "ready", but I am willing and I am trying. I can only "do" today! I can't look back or worry about tomorrow, I will just do what I can today.

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 Post subject: Re: Readiness versus willingness to recover
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 11:09 pm 
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wow, I very much needed to read this post tonight. I have been struggling with maintaining my motivation and momentum in recovery. A line that use to often be said to me was, "there will never be a 'more right moment' to start making change than right now"... It's true we just have to do it... and in my case (after being on my recovery path for 2 years), I just have to keep on doing it...I am grateful that this was here for me to read. Thank you.

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 Post subject: Re: Readiness versus willingness to recover
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 6:45 pm 
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I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the right place, but I'm having an emotional moment so I want to put this out there.

Recovery isn't a bloody walk in the park, but neither is maintaining disordered behaviours. I know that at least recovery brings me some sort of lasting comfort in that I treat my friends and family as I should, I can concentrate on my work and I can actually enjoy myself.

I wish nothing more than to be able to recover for each and every person here because I cannot stand for anyone to suffer in the way we have, but that's not possible. I'm not perfect because nobody is, but I've made huge progress since I started treatment a few months ago and I feel so much better for it. My life is something to be lived, not tolerated.

I just wanted to share the love, I guess. You are worth it. This is just my little plea to you all - you know when something isn't right, so please change it today. There will never be a right time.

:heart:

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 Post subject: Re: Readiness versus willingness to recover
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 10:32 pm 
orange you glad?

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Location: Mid North Coast, Australia
You have the most beautiful heart veGA! Thank you :heart:

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He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the LORD was my support.


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 Post subject: Re: Readiness versus willingness to recover
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 9:16 pm 
orange is a state of mind
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Just re-read the first post and wanted to bump this thread because it is so important!!! :x

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"Embrace not just any reason to recover, but every reason. Over time, you will...embrace one of the best reasons to recover - you are worth it."


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 Post subject: Re: Readiness versus willingness to recover
PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 6:44 pm 
orange is a state of mind
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<3 thanks

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 Post subject: Re: Readiness versus willingness to recover
PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2012 3:51 am 
stranger in an orange land

Joined: Sun Dec 16, 2012 6:11 pm
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Keeker wrote:
If everyone waited until they were ready to recover, very few would ever recover. Recovery is scary as hell. Recovery means facing the unknown and, likewise, giving up on the known. If I sat around waiting to feel ready to recover, I’d never move forward. I’d be consumed by my disease.


I think that's probably why teens who's parents follow the Maudsley approach tend to have the best recovery rates as they don't have the choice to wait until they're ready for recovery - it's forced onto them.

But to be honest, I think it's for their own good. After all, they can live a life pretty free from the ED afterwards.


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 Post subject: Re: Readiness versus willingness to recover
PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 1:28 am 
feeling out the orange

Joined: Sat Mar 09, 2013 9:32 pm
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Location: westchester, ny
i have always wanted recovery... and recovery to me is incredibly scarey. it means gaining weight, eating foods im scared of and not throwing them up because of my fear. my biggest enemy right now is my fear...i get so scared that i throw up! or i just hate myself so much for allowing "normalness" to enter my life that i run screaming back to the ED. but 20yrs later its do or die! i am willing but am i willing enough? this is really really rough for me because i have anorexia and bulimia. unfortunately i want the bulimia gone but i still associate anorexia with purity and control and beauty but i know i have to give it all up and that scares the living hell outta me! i haven't gone more then a week w/o purging in the 10yrs i've been trying to recover and that makes me cry. it's easier to just not try but i love life too much to give up. but how? and especially w/o treatment. i have a therapist and psychiatrist but noone knows what to do with me nemore.... i feel so hopeless and like trying at this point is useless... yet i really want a life! i have no friends, i'm on disability and i'm very socialable and smart! this disease has taken EVERYTHING away from me! :help:


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 Post subject: Re: Readiness versus willingness to recover
PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 4:48 am 
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^^^It is late here and my brain isn't working at full speed, and I am not sure what to say to you that this does not say better:

Quote:
Recovery: A Leap of Faith Worth Taking
By Anne Sophie Reinhardt

I am pacing back and forth in our apartment, phone in hand, waiting for the doctor to pick up. When he finally does, I beg, plead, cry wanting to have one more day at home, one more day of pretending I didn’t have to make a change. I wanted just one more day of living with my anorexia, who had been my best friend and closest companion for such a long time. Couldn’t the doctor understand that? Couldn’t he see that I was not ready?

As I pack my bag I cannot breathe. Tears are streaming down my face. I feel sick. I don’t want to go, but I know I have to. There’s no alternative. Not, if I want to live. It’s March 23rd, 2011 - the day I finally take my life in my own hands and begin to fight for my dreams, my hopes, my identity and my life. It’s the beginning of a journey towards health, healing and growing up.

When I look back and remember the lost girl I was on March 23rd 2011, I want to reach out to her, take her in my arms, squeeze her tight and tell her that it will be OK. I would tell her that she won’t lose herself. Anorexia will. I would tell her that there are many yet undiscovered or covered abilities, talents and passions inside that are just waiting for anorexia to disappear in order to burst out and blossom.

I would tell her that eating can be fun and that it will get easier every single day if you just keep at it. I’d whisper in her ear that nobody will judge her because she gains weight and lives inside her natural body. I’d reinforce her by promising that letting go of this part of her life will present amazing opportunities and a future she could have never dreamt of. I’d dream with her of all the journeys she is going to take: from America, to Australia, to Bali and the South of France.

I’d be proud of her because she was going to become a very active eating disorder advocate and she was going to help hundreds of sufferers around the world. I’d praise her for building up the courage for starting a podcast in the hopes of reaching the soul of another girl or boy who’s in need. I’d take her by my hand and show her that workouts can be fun and that it’s not about the calories burnt, but about the movement, and the connection with the body.

I’d create the picture inside her mind that despite her feeling like her life was going to end, it was only now starting. And I’d be cheering her on every single day, whenever she was struggling, hoping to give her an extra ounce of motivation and energy to keep on going. Yes, that’s what I’d do. But I would also lie in bed next to her, stroking her hair and telling her that it is alright to cry, to let it all out, to be scared, petrified even and to feel completely overwhelmed.

Emotions are good, necessary even, when trying to recover. I wish I had known that earlier. I wish I could’ve realized that emotions aren’t a sign of weakness, not a threat, but a way of healing your broken soul. The journey towards health is paved with the unknown, the scary, the challenge and the fear, but it’s worth walking it.

The transformation that will take place inside of you is worth the risk, the tears and the difficult but life-saving weight gain. The terrified, heartbroken, sick girl I was on March 23rd 2011 is long gone. The insecure, weary of life, hardly sane and hurt little girl has transformed into a self-confident, energetic, joyful and active young woman that is ready to face every challenge life puts in her way.

This girl, the bright and happy young woman, is you. She’s slumbering inside of you, desperately waiting for you to take a leap of faith and trust that you can recover too.

NEDA: Stories of Hope

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Let it be.

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