Last visit was: It is currently Fri Aug 14, 2020 6:38 pm


All times are UTC - 4 hours




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 46 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Readiness versus willingness to recover
PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 1:01 am 
stranger in an orange land

Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2009 12:51 am
Posts: 3
I posted this at http://www.healthymodels.org - because, for a long time, I did not think I was "ready" to recover:

---

I don’t believe in being “ready” to recover. I believe in being willing to recover, but ready? Who is ever ready to gain twenty pounds, give up purging, or forfeit bingeing? Who is ever ready to give up their illusion of control, the only coping mechanism (albeit negative) that they know?

If everyone waited until they were ready to recover, very few would ever recover. Recovery is scary as hell. Recovery means facing the unknown and, likewise, giving up on the known. If I sat around waiting to feel ready to recover, I’d never move forward. I’d be consumed by my disease.

Because of the nature of eating disorders, I believe most people will never feel entirely ready.

But what they can be is willing. Yes, I will eat this and nourish my body. No, I will not purge even though I’m full and uncomfortable. Yes, I will continue to get back up after every relapse. No, I refuse to give up on recovery. Yes, I will continue to fight that disordered voice for as long as I live. Yes, I am in this for the long run. I may hate recovery, but I hate my eating disorder more, so I will move forward. Because I am willing.

For the time being, I can be willing to go through the recovery motions, and hope that in time I will learn to embrace them with all my heart. I do so for my health. I do so for those who love me. But most of all, I do it for myself.

My eating disorder will never be ready to stop controlling me. It will never be ready to shut the hell up. Which is why, despite my lack of readiness, my willingness must prevail.

---

For more rants, thoughts, and insights, please visit http://www.healthymodels.org and join the movement to make our models healthy!


Top
Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 1:49 am 
galactic orange
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2008 5:31 am
Posts: 925
Location: In my dreams
Wow.
Really, that's all I can come up with.
You just put into words what I could never explain, even to myself.
Dude, I like you :smile:

_________________
I want to be tigger, not ehyor.


Top
Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 3:09 am 
orange wonder
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2008 12:51 am
Posts: 4040
Location: long island
The fist sentence, it's amazing. It really brought me in. It just makes so much sense. This is great, you are great!


:wbb:

_________________
life is what happens when you're busy making other plans


Top
Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 5:46 am 
exploring my potential!

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2007 3:25 pm
Posts: 503
this is great!

It's like when people say 'I'm not ready... How did you do it?' and as much as you want to help the only answer you can give is 'I just did'.


Top
Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 8:45 am 
orange addict

Joined: Fri Jan 16, 2009 4:03 pm
Posts: 246
Location: East coast
I personally think to be willing to recover, is to be ready. We all know what happens when we start the process yet, we do it. I think "ready" for recovery means that I'm ready to live outside of my eating disorder, and ready to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I don't know, I guess my thought process is a little different. I see what you mean though, and I appreciate you sharing with us =)

_________________
Without change, there wouldn't be butterflies...


Top
Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 6:33 pm 
admin goddess from hell
User avatar

Joined: Fri May 02, 2008 1:10 am
Posts: 12363
I really like this article.

Welcome to WBB. I hope you stick around and share more of your work.

_________________
Whispered words of wisdom,
Let it be.

~~ John Lennon


Top
Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 09, 2009 7:26 am 
exploring my potential!

Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2009 1:33 am
Posts: 605
Location: Australia
You have no idea how helpful that was, really.

I was starting to get in a bad cycle, but it's so good to have a remender of why I was recovering, and I was so close. I am eating whilst writing this actually.

Even though I don't know any of you, when I hear you say things like that I know how special you must all be. To have the courage to speak up and challenge this, it's wonderful to see.


Top
Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Readiness versus willingness to recover
PostPosted: Sat May 09, 2009 8:41 pm 
healthy is sexy

Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2008 8:26 am
Posts: 347
Location: Perth, australia
Keeker wrote:
For the time being, I can be willing to go through the recovery motions, and hope that in time I will learn to embrace them with all my heart. I do so for my health. I do so for those who love me. But most of all, I do it for myself.

Thats how it started for me... "Oh I'll look like i'm getting better so people don't worry." but now It IS recovery, and not an act.

_________________
This is my life; It is an addiction.- The hamptens.

Holiday Mode.
Laxative free since dec 30th 2008. (261 days)
Binge free for: 3
Purge free: 99.5% in 191 days
(updated:07-09-09)


Top
Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 10, 2009 3:57 am 
orange you prolific
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 02, 2008 11:59 pm
Posts: 3305
Location: Wisconsin
This is pure brilliance. I borrowed one of your quotes, this post is inspiring.
:)

_________________
Formally known as Lil~
*Have no fear of perfection, you'll never reach it. ~S. Dali

An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all. ~Oscar Wilde


Top
Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 4:41 am 
getting under the peel

Joined: Thu Apr 16, 2009 7:05 am
Posts: 29
wow! this is all so true!

thank you!
xxx

_________________
and so the day came when the risk to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom...


Top
Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 5:13 am 
I like this. I'm glad it got bumped up.


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 5:33 am 
exploring my potential!
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 26, 2009 4:41 am
Posts: 620
Location: Lake Macquarie, Australia
I like this.

The group therapy I was doing was basically all about "willingness"

Had i stayed in the therapy, and not quit, I probably could have told you what the deal with willingness is.
But I was only there for the first 10 weeks, not the last 10.

So willingness is probably the key..in some way.

Gosh that was a waste of a post....haha.
:x


Top
Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 7:38 pm 
i love orange

Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2009 11:12 am
Posts: 75
Location: Caistor Centre
wow....that is really all I have...that totally nailed ED on the head....everything you said is what all of us have to eventually be brave enough to endure....Wether were ready or not is not in the recovery equation....so well stated.... :pickle: :banana: :obanana: :clap:

_________________
~~ Mary ~~


Top
Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 7:55 pm 
i love orange

Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2009 7:30 pm
Posts: 53
I loved this. It really made me do some serious thinking about my ed and my recovery.

_________________
babs


Top
Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 8:23 pm 
admin goddess from hell
User avatar

Joined: Fri May 02, 2008 1:10 am
Posts: 12363
I just had to bump this. Someone I care about is struggling.

_________________
Whispered words of wisdom,
Let it be.

~~ John Lennon


Top
Offline Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 46 posts ]  Moderator: post-mods Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next

All times are UTC - 4 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Theme created StylerBB.net & kodeki