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 Post subject: Mind states: Reasonable, Emotional, Wise
PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 4:42 am 
admin goddess from hell
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Use of "wise mind" is a key concept of DBT and other therapies. Wise mind is the meeting point or intersection of "rational", "reasonable" or "intellectual" mind with "emotional" or "feelings" mind. Many of us tend to lean more heavily on one side or the other in the grips of our eating and any co-morbid disorders. My propensity for intellectualising my experience was the despair of the provincial EDP and while I occasionally find wise mind, I am now finding myself more and more in emotions mind, and feeling emotions I have spent years sublimating in intellectual pursuits.

The DBT concept of these three minds is often demonstrated in a Venn diagram, as follows:

Attachment:
DBT Venn states-of-mind.jpg
DBT Venn states-of-mind.jpg [ 80 KiB | Viewed 42670 times ]

Venn diagram copied from States of Mind

Descriptions of each of these are as follows:

Quote:
A person is in Reasonable Mind: when they are approaching things intellectually, thinking logically, planning behavior, paying attention to empirical facts (facts that can be observed or measured or counted), focusing their attention, and when they are "cool," that is, not emotional in their approaches to solving problems.

Some examples of Reasonable Mind might be:
* calling the bus station to find out the bus schedule, instead of just walking over and hoping to find a bus
* planning for an outing several days before
* measuring the ingredients to bake a cake
* asking a saleswoman the details about something you want to buy
* studying for a test
* looking up information on the Internet

Emotion Mind

A person is in Emotion Mind when their thinking and behavior are controlled mostly by their emotions. Logical thinking and planning are difficult, facts may be distorted or made larger or more important, thoughts and behaviors might be said to be "hot," and the energy of the behavior tends to match the intensity of the feelings.

Some examples of emotion mind might be:
* having a fight with someone you disagree with
* going on a trip on an impulse, without planning
* cuddling a puppy
* making love
* going out to fly a kite just for the fun of it
* snapping at a salesperson because they don't have the item you want
* putting an expensive item on your credit card just because you like it

Wise Mind

Wise Mind is the coming together, the overlap of Reasonable Mind and Emotion Mind. But when they come together or overlap, they produce something bigger than either of them were separately. What is added is intuition, a feeling of "knowing" what's right, a felt sense, a sense that some people feel in their body (head, heart, stomach or somewhere else) that something is just right, the right thing to do or the right way for things to be. You can experience intuition about what's right or appropriate without thinking about it, without knowing it intellectually, just feeling it.

Excepts from Mind States


So what about you? What are some examples of things you have done in one or other of these Mind States? How do you ED behaviours fit into this model, or how have or can you use the idea of "wise mind" to support your recovery behaviours?

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Whispered words of wisdom,
Let it be.

~~ John Lennon


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 Post subject: Re: Mind states: Reasonable, Emotional, Wise
PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 3:35 pm 
orange you prolific
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I have the worst time with my emotional mind. I often plead that I'd rather just have a fully rational mind (no emotions).

My ED is a way that I found to numb some of that out and is also a way that I use to react to feeling certain things. OK, not so much anymore, but the temptation remains at times. Thinking rationally, ED behaviors make zero sense.

I find with dealing the ED (and SI, depression, and anxiety) the most important thing is to have a pause. I'm recognizing what I accomplish in that pause to be using wise mind. I still FEEL what I felt but I can decide on a reaction at that point and if I can decide I usually go for not engaging in ED behaviors (and not lashing out at others or harming myself).


Some examples:
Wise mind: I'm angry but yelling at this person or storming away is not going to help. I can excuse myself and have some time to think. (All I need sometimes is five minutes.)

I'm sad and hurt. Instead of trying to starve these feelings away or hurting myself I could go and pray or pet my cats. Or both.

Emotional mind: I want to purge. NOW.
I should just yell at this person because they hurt me.
There's not point in taking care of myself, I'm not worth it.

Rational mind: I should figure out when the bus is running so I can catch it on time.
Where can I learn more about this topic?

_________________
(((hugs))),

Kelly

-*-*-*-*-*
My cats think I'm perfect just the way I am!

Your feelings will not kill you, engaging in disordered behaviors could.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”


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 Post subject: Re: Mind states: Reasonable, Emotional, Wise
PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 4:26 pm 
galactic orange
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This is a link to another site about wise mind. It also gives some examples of mindfulness exercises which help train you to be aware of your emotions etc. in the moment which is a core skill of DBT.

(It is titled as Mindfulness for Borderline Personality Disorder because that was the disorder for which DBT was developed. However, it is relevant for everyone.)

http://mybpdstory.wordpress.com/2012/09/12/core-mindfulness-part-one-emotion-reasonable-wise-mind/

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“When you have come to the edge Of all light that you know And are about to drop off into the darkness Of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or You will be taught to fly”


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 Post subject: Re: Mind states: Reasonable, Emotional, Wise
PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 7:56 pm 
admin goddess from hell
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Quote:
I find with dealing the ED (and SI, depression, and anxiety) the most important thing is to have a pause. I'm recognizing what I accomplish in that pause to be using wise mind.


I really like that example of wise mind, as well as the other ones you listed, Kelly, but I think so often we can diffuse a state of high emotion just by taking a break and letting ourselves just take our minds elsewhere for a while, whether it be outside for a walk, a book, a computer game or calling a friend. And delay is also one of the key skills in reducing and eliminating many ED or SI behaviours: just putting it off again and again, five minutes at a time, and surfing those urges to engage in destructive behaviours. Again, it's a good idea to have some activities that you can do while you are cooling off, but knowing you and books, I bet you can find a healthy place to lose yourself.

I have spent most of my life in rational mind, and all I can tell you is that it has been absolutely no help in now learning to experience and even embrace (freaking) emotions (which tells you exactly how I feel about feelings and emotions. Now I am having to learn to expand my emotional repertoire from scratch and it's so hard - understatement of the year, for me. The emotional flooding leaves little prepared for merging rational and emotions mind, but one recent example was that I bought something that I intended to use for "evil" (this is what my DBT therapist always used to call it, in a way that was completely non-judgmental and even at times funny). After a day of sitting on this item, figuratively speaking, I not only put it on my diary card for my therapist to see, but I am also resolved to return it to the store. Emotionally, I want this so much, but rationally I understand that it is not a solution that will make things better.

_________________
Whispered words of wisdom,
Let it be.

~~ John Lennon


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 Post subject: Re: Mind states: Reasonable, Emotional, Wise
PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 8:24 pm 
galactic orange
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Situation: I ask someone to go out and they say no.

Emotional mind: I feel so hurt. That person does not like me and doesn't want to be with me and I want to do something negative to externalize the hurt so I stop feeling so badly emotionally.

Rational mind: The person said no. They are probably busy and I have no reason or right to be upset.

Wise mind: it is natural to feel hurt when someone says no to an invitation when I am hoping they will say yes. I feel hurt but I can handle it. I will find someone I know is free to do something with and/or to talk to or I will do something I enjoy by myself and I will feel better later on. I will be okay.

This is my example. I can easily be overwhelmed by emotion and act impulsively. Conversely, I often deny that I should feel something and push the feelings away. I need to honour my real feelings while also realizing that I can feel them but that they will lessen and that I can handle them.

_________________
“When you have come to the edge Of all light that you know And are about to drop off into the darkness Of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or You will be taught to fly”


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 Post subject: Re: Mind states: Reasonable, Emotional, Wise
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 9:55 am 
orange you prolific
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Spender wrote:
And delay is also one of the key skills in reducing and eliminating many ED or SI behaviours: just putting it off again and again, five minutes at a time, and surfing those urges to engage in destructive behaviours. Again, it's a good idea to have some activities that you can do while you are cooling off, but knowing you and books, I bet you can find a healthy place to lose yourself.



I usually can :D. And if for some reason books don't work I definitely have back ups. The other night I was upset and playing Guild Wars 2. I had tears streaming down my face and wanted to freak out but I kept killing monsters and waiting it out. I find the longer I wait any of it out, the less appealing the behavior is.

_________________
(((hugs))),

Kelly

-*-*-*-*-*
My cats think I'm perfect just the way I am!

Your feelings will not kill you, engaging in disordered behaviors could.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”


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 Post subject: Re: Mind states: Reasonable, Emotional, Wise
PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 6:58 pm 
admin goddess from hell
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Another really helpful chart for wise mind.

Quote:
Wise Mind Worksheet

Wise Mind (Linehan 1993) is the part of our mind where 'Emotion Mind' (thoughts based on distressing feelings) and 'Reasonable Mind' (rational thoughts) merge together. Wise Mind helps us make sense of our thoughts and feelings, and come up with a balanced and wise response, so that the needs of both Reasonable Mind (what I should do) and Emotion Mind (what I want to do) are met (Yes, Reasonable Mind is right, but Emotional Mind needs to be soothed…). Usually quietly calm, it’s that wise inner part of us that just ‘knows’ what is true or valid. You can personalize the name, such as: ‘clear mind’ or ‘kind mind’.


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Wise Mind.JPG
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_________________
Whispered words of wisdom,
Let it be.

~~ John Lennon


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 Post subject: Re: Mind states: Reasonable, Emotional, Wise
PostPosted: Fri May 23, 2014 9:18 pm 
orange addict

Joined: Tue Sep 25, 2012 2:57 am
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Location: Homer, AK
I have had a lot of success changing negative thought spirals into positive/hopeful thoughts by breaking down my thoughts about a situation into my emotional, wise, and rational mind thoughts. Turns out my wise mind is a pretty smart cookie.

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"I am better than I was, I will be better than I am."


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